I didn't think I mattered

These past few days I have received countless tributes and thank yous from so many people. Each telling me how much I have meant to them(never mind how much they mean to me). I am truely overwhelmed by all of this.

I never thought anything I did may any difference to anyone. We never know what might mean something to someone. These people are telling me that I have touched them in a special way when all the time they were touching me. Amazing...............How wonderful God is to have invented this special way of reaching out, connecting, hearing, seeing others and becoming special.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for allowing me to touch each of those people and for allowing them to touch me when I needed them sooo much. I am so grateful for each of them but most of all, I am grateful to you for recognizing their need and letting me be your instrument. What an honor and a blessing. Please do it again, Lord. Use me again. It is the best "high" in the world. I am soaring.

The Diet Is Gone.......Gone.......Kaplooey!!!

For a year, I have stayed away from bread and desserts. In the course of one week, that has ended. The Curves Party really ended it. It was my decision. I choose to give in and have cake, lemon squares, and chocolate. It was a dumb decision and I am sorry that I did it. The big question is whether I can stop. The next day, I went off with Donna Turgeon to the Eastern Shore.

We had a sandwich (a BLT with avacado on Panini bread) and it was good. For breakfast the next day, I had a pancake. Then there was Lynn's party and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

And those special pretzels. French toast for breakfast today.

ENOUGH!

So tomorrow.......we begin all over. One day at a time.....step by step. I can do this. I can do this because I have to......there is no

choice.

Not Disconnected Now

When I left Curves last Thursday, I felt kinda sad because people who said they would be there were not and it didn't feel right or good. Today

made up for it. Nancy Ade, my sneaky friend said she was taking me out to lunch at Tippy Tacos for lunch. She had a call from my former

employer at Curves that she had something for me and would we stop by. So we got in the car and drove down and as we were going in, I saw one of my morning people carrying a plate of something and I knew something was up.

It was the nicest of suprise partys I have ever been to. There must have been thirty to forty

women and I felt that I was soooo loved. They had brought food and they gave me hugs and good wishes enough to get me thru the toughest times. They gave me gift cards in the amount of $600.00 which will certainly come in handy on this trip. I am soooo blessed. Please Lord, help to be worthy of this love and good wishes.

PLease bless each of these wonderful women and keep them safe and exercising.

12 Days and counting.

I feel so strange today. I am completely out of sorts. It is as though I am out of body and just drifting along. I miss my Curves Ladies and after tonight, I will not have Bible Study anymore. Somehow that feels wrong. Softball is over for me. Slowly, Virginia is breaking away from my life as I know it.

On to something new.

Yesterday, my fat doctor told me that she hadn't been able to find anyone outside of her friend in Seattle who does what she does so I will have to begin again out in Vancouver. I am not sure what that means. Life continues and I feel as though I am on the sidelines again. Everything is hurtling by and I am in slow motion. Very pecular.

Tomorrow, I will have breakfast with Gladys Newcomb and lunch with Nancy Ade. Nancy will come over and work at getting the remainder of the stuff done for the move. She has been a really big help. Thursday, Donna and I will go over to the Eastern shore for our ride on a skipjack. I pray it doesn't rain.

Disconnected. Just plain disconnected.

LOVE IN THE FALL OF THE YEAR

Back in 1964, my Mom announced that she was going to marry Kenneth Walton. She was very happy about it because Mom hated to be alone. She and Dad had gotten a divorce in 1963(I think) and they had sold our lovely old house on Greenacres Avenue. Dad had moved into New York City and Mom had moved to White Plains. Suddenly, I went from living at home in a big beautiful room with a back yard to living in a cramped two bedroom appartment in loud old White Plains. I went from being able to walk to school to having to take a train to Altoona, PA

and traveling by bus to Tyrone and the Grier School for Girls.

Big changes.........and there were more to come. Like most children of divorce, I secretly hoped that my folks would wake up and get back together. When Mom married Ken, that killed that idea.

I had to travel back home for the wedding. I was supposed to fly but a fog put me on the train instead. I fell asleep and woke up with this creep staring at me. It shook me up. My Dad met me at the station and we went to the Plaza Hotel for breakfast. He then put me on the train for Hartsdale. Mom and Ken were married at the Hitchcock Presbyterian Church where Ken worked as the Choir master and organist. I guess it was a nice wedding but I wasn't very happy about it. Sometime along the way, Mom sang the song she had written with Ken about love. It was and is a lovely song called "Love in the Fall of the Year. " I have always liked it better than her wedding song and I find myself humming it on nice fall days.

"Tender young love is very nice but I want to make it clear. I'll take my love with a dash of spice that comes in the fall of the year". Don't panic , gang.........it's just the season.

Last Day at Curves

Tomorrow is my last day as an employee of the Main Street Curves. I have enjoyed working here. The little money has come in handy but it is the ladies that make it really special. They make it fun. My morning crew is probably my favorite because I know them the best. Margarita Rodriguez, a lively 84 yr old Cuban, is usually the first to greet me. Jean Massey generally arrives next. Then little Eleni H., followed by Joan Wiley, Pam Marsh, and Marla Mundy. They are a happy group and very friendly. Lately, we have welcomed the women from Merrifield, Sue's other Curves which just closed. Merrifield was where I signed up but I never liked it there as much because it has a lot of mirrors(in fact , a whole wall) and it was smaller. They didn't have a stretch room either. Sue closed Merrifield because she

was losing money. There was also a rent increase.

Main Street seems to be doing well. The Merrifield contigent seems to be fitting in even though there were some complainers. We have tried to make them feel comfortable. There are a few who have joined my morning group:Kathy A, Betty M, and Carol. I have introduced them to the ladies so they won't feel alone.

My 815-830 crowd is also a pleasant bunch. Annie Hoffman has been coming regularly. It was hard for her when she lost her sister recently. Shirley had been the driver and her death left Annie without wheels. I found she lived near a few of the ladies and I asked them if they could pick her up. One lady named Nancy Golding has been especially helpful and she and Annie have become friends.

Another person who comes around this same time is my Korean lady, Kyong Suk Kim. She is looking better. She has gone back to swimming and she isn't as sad. I think it really perked her up when I showed up at her husband's church. I really enjoyed the Korean service. Who'd have thought that I would ever go to two services on one Sunday? I will miss these special people.

They are more then clients, they are friends. I have been so blessed to have had this time with them.

Making Memories

Suddenly, every day brings a little something that makes a memory in my brain. Last Friday, Donna Turgeon, Laura Carver and a friend of Laura's named Dee and I all went to Waterford for the craft fair. It was a cloudy day and a little humid but very pleasant. Waterford is located out near Leesburg and West Virginia. It is a old village that has maintained its charm. Old houses have been fixed and are in use but the community cherishes it's

individuality and its past. Donna may try this show next year. I think she would do well here.

Yesterday, I enjoyed showing Dr. Sal and his staff their pictures that I took on Saturday. Dr. Sal was especially happy and of course, that pleases me.

I also had a very nice lunch with Yvette Forsman who works with me at Curves and is part of the Camera Crew. What a courageous women she is. She was married to an abusive man for 14 years and finally she left him but she is still working on problems stemming from that. He use to hit her and so now, she has trouble being alone in a room with a man. But she is a gutsy lady. She is a hard worker and a computer guru. She was trying to help me with my computer.

Today I am meeting another brave lady, Elaine Joy. Elaine is a Golden Girl who lost her leg from disease.(lousy circulation). I have always liked Elaine and I am looking forward to seeing her again. Nice memories to see me thru........