3 Great Parrot Jokes-for those who need a laugh

I have heard 3 great jokes lately and they all have to do with parrots so I am going to put them down so others can have a chuckle and so I won't forget them.

1) A lady walked to work each day and on her way, she had to pass a porch that had a parrot sitting on it. Every day the Parrot would shout at the lady and say "OOOOOO You are soooo ugly!!!" This upset the woman a great deal. Finally, just before she left for vacation, she went up to the owner of the parrot and told him if he didn't shut the bird up she would report him to the ASPCA. He promised that the bird would be quiet. When the lady returned from her vacation, she went to work. As she walked past the parrot's porch, she stopped and looked at the bird who

looked at her and said "You know."

2)A lady wanted a parrot in the worst way. One day, a friend died and left his parrot to her. She

was so happy when she brought the bird home in a covered cage. When she took off the cover, the parrot started to cuss at her. She was so upset that she took the parrot and threw it in the freezer. After a while she didn't hear it anymore and was sad because she thought the parrot was dead. She opened the freezer and out hopped the parrot who said"Oh, Lady, I am sooo sorry. Please forgive me for cussing at you". The Lady said " Well, ok but don't do it again."

"I won't" said the bird. "Now, can you tell me what that chicken did?"

3)A thief broke into a house to steal some computer equipment. He was undoing the wiring when he heard "JESUS is watching!" He looked around and then shook his head and said"I've

got to find another line of work". He went back to working on the wiring when he heard"JESUS

is watching!" This time, he took out his flashlight and shined it around and saw a parrot. He walks over to the bird and says" And I guess your name is JESUS." and the Parrot said, "No

my name is MOSES." The thief said "What kind of nut names his parrot MOSES?" The parrot answered"The same kind of nut that names his Rottweiler JESUS!!!!!